September 19
Sometimes fathers will come to meet me on their own. Las mamas stay in the car with the children because it’s easier to keep them there than have little ones running around in different directions. In these moments, fathers have a brief moment to let down. They say nearly the same thing with tears in their eyes: “I’ve worked so hard all these years. Whatever I needed to do to support my family I do. We always find a way. NEVER, NEVER in my life did I think I would have to ask for help this way. I hate it but I know I have to do it because it’s the right thing for my family” They are pushing past pride, past helplessness, past macho, to be vulnerable and receive. “I have lost everything, EVERYTHING, so I have no choice.”
Have you ever noticed how few Latin men we see on the side of the roads asking for help? I always noticed this during my years as a social worker in South LA. Generally, the only Latin men sitting with a sign were veterans (understandably). Every other man was selling oranges, flowers, paletas, raspados, y elotes (popsicles, icees, and corn). These strong men are industrious and want to provide for their families. Even now, in the midst of this heartbreaking wreckage, they leave the mamas with multiple children in hotel rooms (which breaks my heart for the mamas who are still in shock trying to manage so many young ones) to go get any work that is available. Some who worked on their own as landscapers, but don’t have tools, are working with a friend who does. They are as always, finding a way. But it’s not enough. So they come to me and painfully swallow their pride to receive. They do what they have to do for their family. I do my best to support their dignity by giving them the cash immediately, so they don’t feel they have to tell their story as a form of begging. They can tell it just to be heard with compassion and they seem to welcome this moment to release their frustration and heartache.
And of course, true to the culture, if they can, they offer reciprocity. They offer to help me deliver things with their truck, to come and work on my garden, to help me in any way. When I can, and when things settle, I will take them up on it, because this is not and never pity or charity. This is community, capacity and humanity that we all need to remember within us. These are some of the strongest, most giving men you will ever meet.
This is who you are helping. Please continue to help me support the most impacted families with direct cash relief that offers autonomy and respect. The word is spreading, so the number of those coming to me, is growing. The need is so great, but together I believe it IS possible for the collective to help me help ALL of our migrant families. See my other FB posts for background on the tragedy of the Phoenix/Talent/Almeda fires here in Southern Oregon.
To Donate:
Go Fund Me: www.gofundme.com/f/almedafireslatinxrelief
Venmo: @sylvia-Poareo
Note:
I’ve been sharing my experience of the Almeda Fire in southern Oregon on my Facebook page, but I want to share it here so you can all walk with me on this journey. Click the “Almeda Fire” tag at the bottom of this post to read the entire series.