In this life dream there are opposing energies, different roles in the ecosystem. Life giving and decomposing/destructive and everything in between.
Today my dear amigas were setting up their farmer’s market booth very early in the morning. I wasn’t there and I am the one that usually handles logistics so it turned out they were supposed to be in a different space.
The vendor who was assigned to that spot, arrived, saw them setting up in her space and became angry. I wasn’t there so I don’t know exact details but I was informed by those around that she was irate and ‘out of line’ and said things like, “they don’t even speak English” “This isn’t Mexico, they should speak English’ and “they’re not even wearing gloves” and so on, it was clearly anti-immigrant rhetoric.
I had a diplomatic conversation with the woman explaining that we are a nonprofit and I handle the logistics. As we spoke, she did not express any remorse. I recognized the personality type as one of lower empathy for others and more focus on oneself.
Many who had witnessed the incident were concerned that the mamas understood everything because what this woman said was so unkind and egregious. The mamas did not fully understand everything she had said but they had gotten the gist, and you could see the weight of this animosity on their countenance. It broke my heart. My dear amiga said that she didn’t want to tell me about it because she didn’t want to make a fuss. They are just generally happy to be at the market and even still okay to have the spot next to her, so willing they are to make peace.
I am the one that has the luxury to feel my anger, to express righteous outrage without significant repercussions. And it really is good that I wasn’t there this morning because I likely would not have been very graceful in response.
And yet, even though I have been a ‘truth telling’ activist for much of my life, I’ve settled into a place of acceptance of our differences. Acceptance that there are just people like this and there’s no changing them. In this country born of genocide and colonization the generational legacy lingers. And they happen to be a predominant population here.
When I first was getting to know this town, at a rally just after George Floyd’s murder, I literally saw a man standing in the back of his pickup aim a rifle at protestors and the police officers just casually walked up to him. He appeared to not have any repercussions. If he were a person of color, it would have clearly been a different story.
So I was feeling into this and feeling heartbroken for my amigas. And sad at how this hatred and othering has been stoked so systematically.
Oregon as a whole was a sundown state*, so anti immigrant and anti-black rhetoric has been around here a long time. In fact, I have copies of an ad that the KKK took out over a hundred years ago in Anaheim, CA proclaiming that the ‘immigrants are the problem’ and a wall was needed. Literally word for word, this extreme conservative rhetoric of today is literally what the KKK were proudly boasting publicly back then.
And of course Trump’s recent comments about eating pets is also a very old anti-immigrant trope.
As I sat with my helplessness and anger on behalf of my amigas, I was struck by how many people had come over and said they saw what happened and didn’t like it. But none except the market administrators had said anything to her.
Of course I understand this too. Yet, as much as I accept this low empathy type, I feel it is important for those who care, to take action to bring balance, which is what the ecosystem needs and how growth occurs.
It dawned on me that even though there was one very problematic person, all around there were/are people with much more empathy.
So because I was feeling very concerned that I cannot often be there on Thursdays, I went around and asked each of those friends to please check in on my amigas, every week.
I expressed to the market leadership how sensitive this issue is and how my amigas already experience much stress, and asked them to also please check on them and make it clear they are welcome at the market.
Everyone was very receptive and seemed happy to have a way to help.
I will be following up with the Board and focusing on what else can be done to ensure my amigas are safe and respected in that space.
And for now, it also feels helpful to remember:
There are so many more people that care.
This is the truth to give energy to.
Sometimes we just don’t know what to do to help.
And as we are all navigating so much helpless over the state of affairs, it can be a balm to have
at least a small ways of making a tangible impact.
Instead of focusing on that one person’s limitations,
it felt so sweet to remember how as a community we can wrap our arms around our immigrant friends and all marginalized.
Less focus on the naysayers and more on
how much love we can wrap around each other.
How much power a simple ‘welcome, thank you and how are you?’ can do.
If you are feeling helpless and overwhelmed by the hateful rhetoric,
please remember
your love and care are invaluable.
Any little way you can show support matters immensely.
The compassion and care that wants to move through you is there for a reason.
Be the life giver.
*A sundown town was a designated area where Black folks and other marginalized folks, were considered to be breaking the law if they were in the town after dark.