A mother knows what she knows.
Supporting my daughter through dengue fever and its aftermath, I was routinely dismissed by medical personnel and even my partner. And given advice that would have been dangerous had I heeded it, in their assumption that it was a regular fever.
A primary risk of dengue is internal bleeding, so we must not treat the fever with Ibuprofen/NSAIDS that can cause bleeding. (Thankfully, we trust the body and don’t overly treat fevers) Unlike other fevers, the critical risk period is 48 hours after the fever, with high risk the week after when the virus attacks the bone marrow/blood platelets. I literally had a nurse roll her eyes at me in the ER because my daughter’s fever was over, and she assumed she was on the mend.
But I knew my daughter, and I knew this was something different. She was terribly weak, fatigued and her eyes were dull. My children usually bounce back from illness and she was not.
I trusted myself and while we were still in SoCal, visited my dear amiga to collect some papaya leaves to juice which is the folk remedy, the wisdom of grandmothers. She sent me home with papaya leaves, guava and sweet lime. And her partner shared with me their experience when their son had dengue in India, the importance of monitoring blood, and checked on us for days afterward, which was so touching.
It was so hard to care for her with the diligence needed to build her blood, ensuring hydration/nutrition with fresh juices, primarily alone, navigating my own stomach issues, and largely disregarded by the medical professionals I sought help from.
It wasn’t until my daughter’s platelets dropped dangerously low that anyone took this seriously and even considered it might be dengue. I was literally asked, “now, was she exposed to dengue?”
I wanted to scream and punch some people, for real.
But I had to keep my eyes on tending to my hijita.
I’m so grateful for my dear doctor amiga, Lauren who recognized that she did not know about dengue, held space for my frustration and referred me to an infectious disease specialist in India (online). It was so good to speak to someone who did not dismiss me, although he did terrify me more as he understood the gravity, and told me not to let my guard down.
By the time my daughter’s test results came back positive for dengue nearly two weeks later, we were out of the critical period.
If I had not trusted myself and taken precautions beforehand, she may have had far more severe outcomes.
I’m so grateful that after years of experiencing the demoralization of mothers and articulating this in my work with mothers, I could name this and forged ahead.
It was really rough, but nothing compared to what many whose children have chronic illness experience on the daily.
Or what families in areas where dengue is endemic experience with the all too common death and severe illness of their children.
A mother knows what she knows.
Don’t let anyone tell you different.
Blessings and prayers for all who are navigating this virus around the world.
(adapted from FB post September 2022)
A Mother knows what she knows