This night felt like a movie.
We were at City Hall for a City council meeting where our neighborhood showed up in full force, wearing red shirts, to protestrezoning for a high density complex that would bring more traffic into our neighborhood. In the weeks leading up to this, I marveled at the fact that people were coming together in opposition. I felt ambivalent.
It was literally going to be in our backyard and block our mountain view which is what has given me solace about living where I live in the suburbs and not ‘on land’ somewhere. I often stand on the edge of my sliding glass door entrance to the backyard, and looking out at the mountain range ahead, pretend there are not miles and miles of concrete and strip malls between us. When we heard that the development company was coming in and there would be two story townhomes blocking our view, the first thing my children said was, “ But they can’t cut down our tree!” I wasn’t sure what they were talking about, and they explained that they sit in the playstructure and watch the hawks and other birds fly in and out of an expansive tree in the lot behind our house. I was especially surprised to hear this from L, my one child who tends to rebuff my attempts at nature connection. And yet, here he was appreciating this tree and his bird’s eye view all along. Such is the power and importance of the natural world.
They were very upset, but given all of my experiences in activism and many marches that felt discouraging overall, I thought there was nothing that the ‘little guy’ could do. I don’t like to ‘roll over’ for anything, but because of this entrenched discouragement, I was preparing to do so, over something as precious as the little bit of heaven that we had in our backyard.
This is also because I don’t feel entitled to this view. I sensed it was a matter of time and I also don’t begrudge anyone wanting to live in this neighborhood. I even thought maybe it was making a mountain out of a molehill. I afterall, grew up in poverty and truly understand that everyone just desires a beautiful, safe community to live in. As a social worker, I deeply believe in providing more housing opportunities. I didn’t want to be exclusive.
And yet, this was not an affordable condo or rental development, this was simply an oversized development plan made by a company that wanted to maximize its profits by changing the zoning rules. It felt like there could be a more respectful way to put housing into an established neighborhood.
So while I was busy tending to my family, I was grateful that there were people talking about this and going to meetings, but I really did essentially think it was all in vain. I thought, ” If there is money to be had, they will do it regardless.”
As I saw signs going up and my neighbors rallying, I kept feeling impressed and touched. Every time I saw a sign in front of someone’s house that was farther away from the actual development, I marveled at why they would care.
Then one day, one of my neighbors came to my door to give me a flyer. Again, I felt so impressed that she was taking the time to walk on this fiercely hot day to keep me informed. I have done the same in my activist days and know the level of commitment and integrity it requires. I asked her, “Why do all these people who don’t live nearby, care about this?” She helped me to understand the basic traffic and community feel concerns that I had not thought of…and it was simply nice to meet a neighbor I didn’t know and find out that she was the kind of person to stand for her beliefs.
Still, I thought, yes, but the city is not really going to care about that. I felt it was worth a fight, but I would never have been the one to try to carry that flag alone. So I was very glad that they were doing this and agreed to attend the City Council meeting. I felt that even though the chances were slim, it would be a great opportunity to have my children see people care about something and come together to be heard. An opportunity which is increasingly rare nowadays.
So the night of the meeting, I hurriedly fed my children and got us to the meeting where we found a sea of people from our community wearing red. It was so impressive to see the Council hall filled to the brim and about forty to fifty people in the overflow, maybe more.
My children were thrilled to see some friends and run around with them since the room was so full and noisy already! We also got to see the mother of Lucas’ classmate and all her children stand in front of the council to ask for reduced rates on block parties. It was so heart warming to see people taking action.
Finally, it was our time for our item. Thankfully, they allowed all the overflow people to come in and stand up against the wall. The developer came up and gave a twenty minute talk with power point in a condescending tone.
It was interesting to hear the development company say they were putting in water conservation measures, including a rainwater catchment system, saying the development would be an improvement for the drought. I chuckled when mayor Chaffee said, “I doubt it, since it’s currently a parking lot (i.e not currently using water)”
It was so interesting, the whole evening, how the builders, architects and other cronies, spoke about the community we were all just fearful-of-change, NIMBY ists. They were all dressed in business attire, using condescending language about change and conservation. It was really funny to hear talk of conservation at the same time that they are saying ‘What people want is new houses and that is what we want to provide for them.’ I cannot think of anything more wasteful than squeezing 28 new homes on less than 3 acres, in a county that has plenty of unoccupied homes.
Aaahhh, but this is politics, I remembered. ( In one of my ‘past lives’ when I was twenty one, I was an aspiring politician that learned how very wrong this was for me, while interning in Washington DC.)
I always try to hold a positive vision of everyone. Everyone was once a small child. Everyone has a core of love, perfection, innocence, we just sometimes forget it. And in this vast world, we all conceive of these things differently.
I sat there thinking, I really could not be giving my children a better education about what drives everyone. I reasoned like my wise godmother taught me, that the people who were focused on the money to be made, were also just trying to feed their families. I felt that I could even see discomfort in some of the speakers who had to represent the other side, but who may have felt conflicted. But it was also clear that when money or a scarcity mindset drives things, there is greed. And when there is greed, there is inauthenticity. And it was palpable.
On the other hand, the people from our neighborhood were very authentic, speaking with hope and heart and common sense. I felt that my children were in one of the greatest classes on government that I could ever give them. So consistent with my love of homeschooling/life learning, was this moment. They were integrating our democracy in a way that was alive and interesting and deeply relevant to them.
As I was busy trying to get a cranky 3 year old situated and to sleep as it neared 9:30pm, Lucas and was rapt with attention. He loves a good story, and here was a new person telling a new story every three minutes. Maya was getting tired but I urged her to stay until we saw our friend Jenn go up with her son William.
Finally, Jenn went up for her turn, speaking in her wonderfully straightforward way about the silly, playful, and very family friendly neighborhood we share with over 45 children who would be very affected by the increased traffic. By this time, Maya was hooked, and now she was urging me to go up and speak.
As I watched, I felt more and more grateful. Grateful for the City Council members who sat there with tact and patience as every person came up. Grateful for my community. And also grateful for the ‘other side’ because for tonight, they were showing my children over and over, the keen difference between an energy that seeks to exploit and one that seeks to care and preserve. We could have muted what people said and based on energy, posture and appearance alone guessed well at who was representing what. And this to me, is a huge life lesson that will carry them through much of life. Try as I might I don’t think I could have ever communicated this as clearly with words.
As I sat on the floor against the wall, holding a dog tired, sleeping Sabi, Maya kept coming over to me and whispering what she wanted me to say, like “Right now we have a view of the mountains and a beautiful tree and if they build it will just be brick and paint!” I suggested she say those things. And I wrote down chicken scratch with my one free hand, the paper wobbling, barely legible of what I wanted to say. I knew it would be messy as my brain doesn’t always work when I have my children with me, let alone this late at night, compounded by my natural nervousness, but I felt so inspired. Even though so many had gone before, I wanted to capture this moment and express my deep gratitude and hope. (And as many of my clients/readers know, I celebrate going for it, even when its messy.)
I wanted to tell them that even though the development company’s lobbyist said, (paraphrased)”Yeah, people protested other developments, then they were built anyway and the people accepted it and did not complain afterward”, that that was only because people gave up! And here were people who had not given up, who were doing the beautiful thing and standing with hope that their leaders would take them into account, despite precedents like this! Who had not given up like I had been tempted to do.
I wanted to stand up and name this magical moment that we were experiencing. I wanted to thank my community for coming together and being courageous enough to stand before the microphone, carefully sharing the speeches they had thoughtfully put together. I wanted to thank the Council for their service.
And I wanted to speak for the value of sustaining hopefulness. But more than anything, I wanted to answer my child’s request that I stand too. Even with a heavy sleeping toddler on my shoulder. Even with my hands trembling. Even though I knew it would be ‘messy.’
When it was finally my turn, I was the very last speaker, number 63! It was 11pm. Sabi’s head was trying to get comfortable on my shoulder and I am looking every bit the disheveled mother, but L and M are at my side standing with sweet bright eyes.
I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I essentially expressed my gratitude to everyone and spoke from my messy heart about how inspiring it has been to see my community stand together. I told the council that this small town feeling is what has kept me in Fullerton, even though I’d rather live somewhere more rural. I told them it has been a privilege to watch beautiful democracy in action. I told them I was speaking because my children wanted me to. And I asked them to please show my children that people and families matter more than dollar signs.
Somewhere in there, because Sabi’s sleeping head was bobbing up and down (can you imagine this???) and everyone was getting a bit distracted by his adorableness, I paused and said, “I know it’s a bit distracting, but a mom’s gotta do what a mom’s gotta do!” And somewhere else in there, my son had gotten embarrassed and started shifting away from me to the right! But my unscripted speech, seemed to touch my community, and when I was done, there was lots of applause. So he thought I wasn’t so bad after all and came over proudly and somewhat surprisedly saying, “Mom, you did a really good job!”
The Council took a break and even though it was now 11:30pm, there was no going home for my children. We waited and after a few speeches from council members, they voted against the rezoning unanimously, 5-0!
I felt like I was in one of my favorite movies, “You Can’t Take it With You!” (an oldie by Frank Capra). The little guy won! My city cares!
While injustices continue to happen all over the world, I was reminded that for anything to improve, we need to vigilantly change our mental patterns to positive, hopeful ones. My pessimism without the hopefulness of my community, would only have led to my apathetic inaction which is precisely what allows injustice to prevail.
The irony is that I know this, and am engaged in other forms of activism because my ultimate takeaway from DC was that this is the primary way change happens in our country. However, if underlying these actions I carry a subtle script that’ it is all futile’ because previous discouragement has linked with personal trauma talk that says ‘bad things can happen,’ (something happening in communities worldwide) then these actions are limited. Greed, power, and corruption thrive on people being oppressed and giving up hope.
I am so grateful that on this evening, my children (and I) were given the gift of a healing experience that speaks,
“People care. Love and kindness will prevail. All good things are possible.”
Even now I smile at this evening, the good feelings wash over me, the hope in humanity rekindled. Imagine what our world can be like if we stay in faith that love and hope can outshine oppression?
This is the vision I will hold for our world and I invite you to join me.