Around age 10, I started to learn to use the concept of the ‘silver lining’ to manage my grief/loss and helplessness. At this age, I had already moved around 12 times with different caregivers and I was generally depressed. It
Letting go of Striving
Every new year it becomes clear that we are acculturated to striving. It reminds me of a documentary series I love to watch with my children called Capitalism. In the first episode, it discusses how we have been taught to
Chocolate Magia
I was joking with the amigas on our Solstice call tonight about ceremonial cacao. Or any spiritual/cultural practice that has been commodified and made into a craze. The minute it’s a craze, we may want to reflect. I have found
We are not separate from the web of life
Much of the anxiety that many feel is often a result of the way we have been socialized to seek approval from others. When we worry about what others will think of us, how we perform, how we measure up.
We are all trauma bonded
There is a horror film called Mama* that my sis showed me a scene from, because it vividly captured our experience. In it there is a dark mother ghost and two older siblings who break away from her. The bright
Questioning narratives
After my mother had endured the death of her two young children and her beloved husband, she was understandably struggling with depression, grief, heartache, devastation. The whole family traumatized and in shock, and she with very little resource to support
The only ‘expert’ is you
For years I have cringed when I have seen panels of parenting ‘experts.’ This is such a western paradigm rooted in competition/conquest. I like to deconstruct the ‘experts’ because I’ve worked with many a mother who is comparing herself to
Escape without escape- healing disconnection
Dissociation is one of our most accessible ways to cope with trauma. As young children we often could not fight our way out of an abusive or traumatic situation. Fleeing was also not an option when we were very young.
Vulnerability as ceremony
Like most women, I experience a few days of hormonal sensitivity every month. I have always held that these are times to embrace with tenderness. Society shames women at this time, calling this vulnerability weakness, madness, hysteria, PMS and so
Creating family
The other day someone reflected that I have a loving functional family and it can be triggering for those who’ve experienced trauma. I wholeheartedly understand this. I was the foster youth/orphan who walked into other family environments and felt pangs