It takes a while for mothers to put all the pieces together; the practical daily child care issues, the emotional/parenting related issues, the changes in her life roles, her personal family history, the body’s healing, her hormonal adjustment, the changes and stresses with her partner, extended family, and so on and so on! Whew! The list is huge. This is the most transformational time in a woman’s life… mostly incredible, mostly miraculous, but not without many challenges and sometimes feeling lost along the way!
Unfortunately, because we are all doing our best with little time for real connection, moms sometimes have a hard time being real with each other. So we end up feeling more alone. Or we have such high expectations (perfectionistic tendencies) that we are unnecessarily hard on ourselves. In my experience, most moms experience many transitional challenges, but they often judge themselves for it because they see other moms who seem to be having no problems and “have it all together.”
Of course there are some moms who do experience an easier transition. I have found that if you look a little more closely they usually have a lot more support from their partner or family. But the fact is, that motherhood is a beautiful time AND it is a stretching time. I always say, “It’s a learning curve!” because I am continually humbled by the experience of feeling that you have one phase down only to move onto the next.
This is why I have felt it crucial to provide support for mothers and bring mothers together. I am passionate about women coming together to share their experiences and have a safe place to work through and release any challenges. It is all much more difficult when going through it alone. I have seen so many moms walking around with uncertainty and guilt for feelings that are absolutely normal for far too long, because they never heard another mom voice them. I strongly believe that a lot of what is called postpartum depression is actually this isolation. If we knew from the beginning that all mothers go through these stages, we would be able to flow with them more easily and ask for help more easily, which would make it all easier (and I don’t mean knowing because you read it in a book, but because you have seen others be authentic in their journey and also seen them supported)
Though sometimes it is hard for moms to make it a priority to get to Conscious Mothering Circle or a Mini Retreat, there is always profound relief and lightness after taking a stand for your needs and accessing compassionate support. Where there were concerns and worries one moment, there is laughter and clarity the next. There is nothing like knowing you are not alone and being supported by other caring mothers to be the mother you want to be. Every mother needs and deserves this.