Little Body, Enormous Spirit: what my baby (in utero) is teaching me about the power of our souls

With all of my children, I have taken time while they were in utero to connect with their spirits.  With Lucas, in the midst of my anxiety about his health, I connected to a sweet, caring spirit assuring me that all was well.  With Maya, I experienced very clearly the depth of her earthy, wise and motherly soul.  When we considered names, I connected and heard the name:  Mayela, powerful and grounded, to resonate with her spirit.

Around 8 weeks, when I checked in with this baby’s spirit, it came to me full force, BOOM, CRASH, POW! (remember the old Batman series?).  The powerful, brilliant, and HUGE sparkling energy of this spirit came bursting forth, saying, “Here I am! My name is Iris!”  I immediately thought, “Iris?” I never would have thought of this name, and in fact chaffed at it at first, bringing to mind images of stuffy old ladies.  My godmother Anita discovered that “Iris” means rainbow, which increased my understanding.  Then this baby gave me the image of a free spirited, courageous, bright and powerful child… and each time I connect to her/him, this is confirmed.  There is simply something ‘outspoken’ about this child.  The other day in my amazing Bodytalk session, my dear friend (and beautiful Bodytalk practitioner) Elaine said, “Wow, when I connect to the baby, I feel a lot of heat. It’s like the baby is saying, “Here I am!”  Yes exactly.

This time…because of the strength of Iris’ spirit, I see more clearly the roles we step into in our spiritual journey.  Feeling the power of his/her spirit and integrating this with the reality of her/his human beginnings in my womb has illuminated the idea that we choose a path, that this amazing soul has chosen to be my child, although she/he could be my mother, my brother/sister, my friend.  I wondered at first, how would I care for this bright soul who doesn’t seem to need me….but little taps knocking on my womb playfully remind me that this spirit has stepped into the role of my baby…and I am her mother.  I rise to the occasion.

I am deeply grateful for this experience, not only for the depth of connection I am feeling with Iris, but for the reminder of how bright and powerful all of our souls really are.  The character of our essence may be different, but the brilliance and the enormous capacity to love and flow with the Divine is in all of us.

I see with renewed eyes how fixed I have become in my role with Lucas and Maya.  How although I am steeped in honoring the truth of our essence, in my daily dealings with them I can forget and treat them like children.  Not to the extent that some do, but their simple dependence on me, the fact that I am their “mother” and they are my “children” sometimes disconnects me from the autonomy and Divine path of their spirits.

Those close to me might say, “What? You are always nurturing your children’s spirits.” And that is true, but at times I think of them as that, “children’s spirits” instead of remembering the grandness of the Divine and how very much the light is simply dimmed by squeezing into this little body, this helpless role of being someone’s child.

Iris’ loud, outspoken, clear and confident spirit shook me back awake from the sleepy forgetfulness of motherhood with distractions like cooking, cleaning, wiping noses and mediating sibling squabbles.  I think back to Lucas and Maya and our connections when they were in my womb….remembering who they are in spirit….and am grateful for the reminder to honor the grandness in them and me and all of us.